121 Days!!

Yesterday marked 4 months since Chris left! I miss him so much everyday. There's not a day that passes that he's not my first thought when I wake up in the morning and my last thought before I go to bed every night. Between school, studying, work, the gym, household chores, and just everyday errands....I've been keeping busy, which is making the time go by faster! But I still have that void in my heart everyday. I don't get to come home and tell Chris how my day was, we don't get to enjoy dinner together, or watch our favorite TV shows, I simply look forward to that 5 minute weekly phone call. I guess I should be thankful for email though, that really is our main communicator. We email at least a few times a week, that way I least know he's okay.

I did get to speak with him yesterday and he's doing as good as expected for being in Iraq. It's starting to get hotter and hotter over there....yesterday it was 98 degrees! He's been busy keeping his guys in line and making sure they are where they need to be and he's been running supply for his camp. This weekend he was traveling around to the different FOB's (camps) to conduct inventory for all of their weapons and supplies. Chris has always been a 'worker bee'! He'll do anything to keep himself busy.

I have days where I just really miss him, not that I don't any other day. Just certain days I think a lot more about him and give myself a 'pity party'! There's just so much that is going well right now, I'm doing great in school, I've lost a significant amount of weight and still going strong, home improvement projects...and he's missing out on all of it. I just wish we could be sharing these important things together. I pray everyday that I'll get a phone call that they will be coming home earlier then expected, but from my own experience in the military....that's like witnessing hell freezing over (something that will never happen)!! I know there's not many of you out there that know the feelings I'm dealing with and have experienced a separation like this....let me tell you, deployments are the hardest thing I believe anyone will ever go through!! The constant worry, the stress, the heart break, the loneliness, and the tears shed....ask yourself, could you do it and still keep your life together? I always get irritated when I hear people say, 'my husband/boyfriend is out of town for a WHOLE week, I'm never going to survive'! I love to come back with, 'my husbands been gone for 4 months and he won't be home till Thanksgiving....maybe'! I understand every one's situation is different, but there's always someone out there that has it worse then you.

Being an Army Wife is one of the proudest and toughest jobs I've ever had the privilege to have. People say it takes a special and strong woman to have this job and I'm thankful I'm one of those people!! They say you can't control who you fall in love with, I'm glad I fell in love with American Hero...a United States Army Solider!

Thanks for listening to me rant and rave....some days I just need that!